#107
What is the Infancy Gospel of Thomas?
Stories from the childhood of Jesus, where he acts up, rebels, and kills people.1:1.
2:1. When Jesus was 5 years old, he was playing at a river.
He was making pools with water.
2:2. He made 12 sparrows from clay. This was on the sabbath day.
2:3. A teacher saw what they were doing on the sabbath, and went and told his father, Joseph.
2:4. His father came to Jesus and said, "Why are you breaking the rules?"
Jesus clapped his hands, and the sparrows came alive and flew off.
2:5. Everyone was kind of shocked and started spreading the rumor.
3:1. One of Jesus classmates took a stick and messed with the pools Jesus was making in the water.
3:2. Jesus got pissed, and said, "What did my pools of water do to you? Now you'll be as dry as you made them."
3:3. The boy completed shriveled up. Jesus strolled home.
The parents of the boy found him and took him to Joseph and blamed him.
4:1. A little while later, a kid accidentally bumped into Jesus. Jesus said, "That's your last move."
The kid died on the spot.
Everyone was surprised- "Who is this child? Everything they say happens as they speak!"
4:2. The parents in the village threatened to kick them out of town if they didn't shape Jesus up.
5:1. Back at home, Joseph asked Jesus why he was killing all the kids in town.
Jesus said, "I know you're not dumb enough to ask me that of your own accord, so I'll let it let it slide this time. But otherwise- they will get what's coming to them." Just then, everyone accusing Jesus of wrongdoing went blind.
This scared pretty much everyone.
5:2. Joseph got mad and pulled on Jesus' ear.
5:3. Jesus said, "It's one thing to seek and not find, but this move is quite unwise, even for you. Are you sure you want to make me angry? Don't make me angry."
6:1-2. A teacher named Zacchaeus overheard this conversation and said, "Why do you let a child talk to you like that?
He is bright and has a good mind but needs someone to teach him his letters and to how to behave."
6:3. Joseph said, "Only God can control this child, don't underestimate him."
6:4. Jesus laughed and said, "You best listen.
I am Lord of these people and am now completely present.
I know when you were born and when you'll die.
I existed before you were born.
If you want to be a teacher, you better listen and learn from me. I'll teach you wisdom no one knows except God.
You are my student.
You'll see in time."
6:5. All the leaders saw a 5-year-old say this and was blown away.
6:6. Jesus said, "Are you really that surprised? I also know when all of you were born and when all of you will die. During creation I was there with God."
6:7. This made the leaders mad, but they didn't really know what to say.
Jesus said, "I'm making fun of you because you find the tiniest things fascinating."
6:8. The teacher interjected and said, "Bring him to my classroom. I'll teach him the letters."
Joseph took him to the classroom.
The teacher wrote the alphabet on the board and started repeating the letter "A", expecting Jesus to repeat him. But he didn't.
The teacher got angry and struck Jesus on the head.
Jesus didn't let the hit affect him and said, "I'm teaching you- not the other way around. These letters are just noises to you- you don't understand how deep my wisdom goes."
6:9. Jesus said the whole alphabet quickly.
Then he said, "You don't even understand the real nature of the letter A, how are you going to teach me about the letter B?
If you're so smart, tell me about the letter A, and then we'll talk about B."
Jesus asked the teacher several questions, and the teacher was unable to answer any of them.
6:10. Jesus drew the letter and explained the symbolism of the form to the teacher.
7:1-11. The teacher broke out into a speech, "Yeah, I have nothing to say.
Take him back, Joseph, I can't do this anymore.
This child is no ordinary human- he has even mastered fire! Maybe he was born before creation.
What kind of person must his mother be?
I don't know what to think.
I thought I was taking on a student, but I've found a teacher.
I am ashamed- I've been defeated by a child.
I might as well die- I can't even look him in the face.
The things they taught me were true.
So, yeah, take him back Joseph. Whatever he is – god or angel – I don't know."
8:1. The teacher went to counseling, and Jesus laughed and said, "Now let everyone bear fruit; let the blind see and those ignorant of heart hear:
I've come from above to save those who are below, and bring them up to me, just as God told me to."
8:2. Then everyone affected by Jesus were healed.
And no one dared anger Jesus from there on out.
9:1. A few days later, Jesus and his friends were playing on the roof of the house. One of them, named Zeno, fell off and died. All the other kids ran off, but Jesus stayed and played by himself.
9:2. The parents came up and accused Jesus of throwing the kid off the roof.
Jesus denied it, and said it was accident.
9:3. He jumped off the roof and stood by the dead boy.
"Zeno, tell them, did I push you?"
Zeno came back to life and said, "Nope, you didn't."
Everyone was amazed.
10:1. A few days later, a young man was cutting wood when he accidentally cut off his foot. He was quickly dying.
10:2. Jesus ran up and forced his way through the crowd gathered around. He healed his foot.
He said, "Get up and keep cutting. Remember me."
10:3. The crowd saw this and started to say that God resided in the kid.
11:1-4. One day when he was 6, his mom sent him to get some water.
On the way back home, the bucket broke, so he used his shirt to carry the water back home.
His mother was surprised at the miracle, but kept it to herself.
12:1-3. One day, when Jesus was 8, he was working with Joseph in the field. Jesus took one bowl of grain, and threw it on the ground.
It immediately sprouted into 100x the amount.
Jesus called all the poor in the village, and gave them the grain. Joseph saved what was left over..
13:1-4. Joseph was a carpenter and received an order to make a bed.
Joseph made a mistake and found one board shorter than the other. Jesus saw and told him to line them up.
Jesus took the short board and stretched it to be the same length.
Joseph was super excited and happy.
14:1. Joseph saw the potential in Jesus and wanted to make sure he got a good education. So he took him to another teacher.
The teacher wanted to teach Jesus Greek & Hebrew. The teacher had heard of the experience of the previous teacher and was pretty scared. But he still wrote out the alphabet and tried to teach Jesus, even though he didn't seem to be listening.
14:2. Jesus said, "If you're really a teacher, and you know the letters well, tell me about the letter A, then I'll tell you about the letter B."
The teacher got angry and hit Jesus. Jesus got angry and cursed the teacher, and the teacher fell to the ground and died.
14:3-5. Jesus went home. They decided to try to keep him home from now on.
15:1. After a little while, a friend of Joseph offered to try to teach Jesus.
Joseph said, "If you really want to." The teacher was nervous, but Jesus was happy to go.
15:2. Jesus strode into the classroom and found a book and picked it up. Rather than opening it up to read it, he began speaking with the Spirit and taught those around about it.
A large crowd gathered to listen to the child talk and teach.
15:3. Joseph heard and immediately feared the worst for the teacher and ran to the classroom.
The teacher said, "Nah, but there's nothing to teach him- he's already full of grace and wisdom."
15:4. Jesus smiled and said, "That's right- and because you told the truth, I'll heal the last teacher."
Joseph went home with Jesus.
16:1. Joseph sent Jesus' brother James to go harvest some wood. While James was out, a snake bit his hand.
16:2. As James was laying on the ground dying, Jesus came up and blew on it. The pain stopped, the snake exploded, and James got better.
17:1. After this, a baby died in the neighborhood, and the mom was really sad. Jesus heard her crying and went over.
He found the dead baby and brought it back to life.
The baby looked up and started smiling. Jesus told the mom to take the baby.
17:2-4. The crowd saw and began to believe Jesus was divine. But Jesus turned right back around and started playing with the other kids.
18:1-3. A year later, a man fell from the top of a building and died.
Jesus heard, and when he got there, he brought the man back from life.
The crowd was amazed.
19:1. When Jesus was 12, he went with his parents to Jerusalem for the Passover festival.
19:2. Afterword, they left to go back home. On their way, Jesus snuck away and went back to Jerusalem.
They didn't realize Jesus was missing until the second day. They got worried and went back to the city.
After 3 days they found him the temple, sitting with teachers, listening and asking questions.
Everyone was watching him, impressed at the questions he was asking.
19:3. His mother went up and said, "Why did you do this to us? We've been looking for you!"
Jesus said, "Why were you looking for me? Didn't you know I'd be at my Parent's house?"
19:4. The leaders came up and asked Mary if she was the mother.
"I am." She said.
They blessed her, and said they've never heard such wisdom before.
19:5. After that, Jesus was obedient to his parents.
Jesus continued to learn and gain respect.
Glory to him forever, amen.
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